took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
