She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
