There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
