operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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