I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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