Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
