Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
