Plan B is the new Plan A
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
