He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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