My first STD was from a foam party
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
another moral hangover. fuck.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
