i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
