how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
