Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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