Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
