you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
