dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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