Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
