and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
