Have you finally orgasmed yet?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
