Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
even my farts smell like vagina
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
