this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
