There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
operation harelip BJ is a go
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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