So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
