i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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