he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
