trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
When did angry sex become our thing?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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