i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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