She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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