And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
