Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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