My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
