God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
love makes seman taste better
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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