I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
