Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
oh god the rape fog is back!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
