She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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