If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
