whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
the raccoons are back...
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