Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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