Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
