I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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