So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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