didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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