so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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