problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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