Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
