she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
