it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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