So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
