How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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