dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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