Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
