It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
